The Rocking-Horse Winner By
D.H. Lawrence
D.H. Lawrence
There was a woman who
was beautiful, who started with all the advantages, yet she had no luck.
She
married for love, and the love turned to dust. She had bonny children, yet she felt they had been thrust upon her, and she could not love them. They looked at her coldly, as if they were finding fault with her. And hurriedly she felt she must cover up some fault in herself. Yet what it was that she must cover up she never knew. Nevertheless, when her children were present, she always felt the centre of her heart go hard. This troubled her, and in her manner she was all the more gentle and anxious for her children, as if she loved them very much. Only she herself knew that at the centre of her heart was a hard little place that could not feel love, no, not for anybody. Everybody else said of her: "She is such a good mother. She adores her children." Only she herself, and her children themselves, knew it was not so. They read it in each other's eyes.
married for love, and the love turned to dust. She had bonny children, yet she felt they had been thrust upon her, and she could not love them. They looked at her coldly, as if they were finding fault with her. And hurriedly she felt she must cover up some fault in herself. Yet what it was that she must cover up she never knew. Nevertheless, when her children were present, she always felt the centre of her heart go hard. This troubled her, and in her manner she was all the more gentle and anxious for her children, as if she loved them very much. Only she herself knew that at the centre of her heart was a hard little place that could not feel love, no, not for anybody. Everybody else said of her: "She is such a good mother. She adores her children." Only she herself, and her children themselves, knew it was not so. They read it in each other's eyes.
There were a boy and
two little girls. They lived in a pleasant house, with a garden, and they had
discreet servants, and felt themselves superior to anyone in the neighbourhood.
Although they lived in
style, they felt always an anxiety in the house. There was never enough
money. The mother had a small income, and the father had a small income,
but not nearly enough for the social position which they had to keep
up. The father went in to town to some office. But though he
had good prospects, these prospects never materialized. There was always the
grinding sense of the shortage of money, though the style was always kept up.
At last the mother
said: "I will see if I can't make something."
But she did not know where to begin. She racked her brains, and tried
this thing and the other, but could not find anything successful.
The failure made deep lines come into her face. Her children were growing
up, they would have to go to school. There must be more money, there must
be more money. The father, who was always very handsome and expensive in his
tastes, seemed as if he never would be able to do anything
worth doing. And the mother, who had a great belief in herself, did not
succeed any better, and her tastes were just as expensive.
And so the house came
to be haunted by the unspoken phrase: There must be more money
! There must be more money ! The children could
hear it at Christmas, when the expensive and splendid toys filled the
nursery. Behind the shining modern rocking-horse, behind the smart
doll's-house, a voice would start whispering: "There must be
more money ! There must be more
money ! "
It came whispering
from the springs of the still-swaying rocking-horse, and even the horse,
bending his wooden, champing head, heard it. The big doll, sitting so pink and
smirking in her new pram, could hear it quite plainly, and seemed to be
smirking all the more self-consciously because of it. The foolish puppy, too,
that took the place of the teddy-bear, he was looking so extraordinarily
foolish for no other reason but that he heard the secret whisper all over the
house: "There must be more money ! "
Yet nobody ever said
it aloud. The whisper was everywhere, and therefore no one spoke
it. Just as no one ever says: "We are breathing ! "
in spite of the fact that breath is coming and going all the time.
"Mother,"
said the boy Paul one day, "why don't we keep a car of our own? Why
do we always use uncle's or else a taxi?"
"Because we're
the poor members of the family," said the mother.
"But why are we,
mother?"
"Well --- I suppose,"
she said slowly and bitterly, "it's because your father has no
luck."
The boy was silent for
some time.
"Is luck money,
mother?" he asked, rather timidly.
"No, Paul.
Not quite. It's what causes you to have money."
"Oh ! "
said Paul vaguely. "I thought when Uncle Oscar said filthy lucker,
it meant money."
"Filthy lucre does
mean money," said the mother, "But it's lucre, not
luck."
"Oh ! "
said the boy. "Then what is luck, mother?"
"It's what causes
you to have money. If you're lucky you have money. That' s why it's better to
be born lucky than rich. If you're rich, you may lose your money. But if you're
lucky, you will always get more money."
"Oh!
Will you? And is father not lucky?"
"Very unlucky, I
should say," she said bitterly.
The boy watched her
with unsure eyes.
"Why?"
he asked.
"I don't
know. Nobody ever knows why one person is lucky and another
unlucky."
"Don't
they? Nobody at all? Does nobody know?"
"Perhaps
God. But He never tells."
"He ought to,
then. And aren't you lucky either, mother?"
"I can't be, if I
married an unlucky husband."
"But by yourself,
aren't you?"
"I used to think
I was, before I married. Now I think I am very unlucky indeed."
"Why?"
"Well --- never
mind ! Perhaps I'm not really," she said.
The child looked at
her, to see if she meant it. But he saw, by the lines of her mouth,
that she was only trying to hide something from him.
"Well,
anyhow," he said stoutly, "I'm a lucky person."
"Why?" said
his mother, with a sudden laugh.
He stared at
her. He didn't even know why he had said it.
"God told
me," he asserted, brazening it out.
"I hope He did,
dear ! "
"He did,
mother ! "
"Excellent ! "
said the mother, using one of her husband's exclamations.
The boy saw she did
not believe him; or, rather, that she paid no attention to his assertion. This
angered him somewhat, and made him want to compel her attention.
He went off by
himself, vaguely, in a childish way, seeking for the clue to
"luck." Absorbed, taking no heed of other people, he went about
with a sort of stealth, seeking inwardly for luck. He wanted luck, he
wanted it, he wanted it. When the two girls were playing dolls in the
nursery, he would sit on his big rocking-horse, charging madly into space, with
a frenzy that made the little girls peer at him uneasily. Wildly the
horse careered, the waving dark hair of the boy tossed, his eyes had a strange
glare in them. The little girls dared not speak to him.
When he had ridden to
the end of his mad little journey, he climbed down and stood in front of his
rocking-horse, staring fixedly into its lowered face. Its red mouth was
slightly open, its big eye was wide and glassy-bright.
"Now ! "
he would silent command the snorting steed, "Now, take me to where
there is luck ! Now take me ! "
And he would slash the
horse on the neck with the little whip he had asked Uncle Oscar for.
He knew the horse could take him to where there was luck, if
only he forced it. So he would mount again, and start on his furious
ride, hoping at last to get there. He knew he could get there.
"You'll break
your horse, Paul ! " said the nurse.
"He always riding
like that ! I wish he'd leave off ! "
said his elder sister Joan.
But he only glared
down on them in silence. Nurse gave him up. She could make nothing
of him. Anyhow he was growing beyond her.
One day his mother and
his Uncle Oscar came in when he was on one of his furious rides. He did
not speak to them.
"Hallo, you young
jockey ! Riding a winner?" said his uncle.
"Aren't you
growing too big for a rocking-horse? You're not a very little boy any
longer, you know," said his mother.
But Paul only gave a
blue glare from his big, rather close-set eyes. He would speak to nobody when
he was in full tilt. His mother watched him with an anxious expression on her
face.
At last he suddenly
stopped forcing his horse into the mechanical gallop, and slid down.
"Well, I got
there ! " he announced fiercely, his blue
eyes still flaring, and his sturdy long legs straddling apart.
"Where did you
get to?" asked his mother.
"Where I wanted
to go," he flared back at her.
"That's right,
son ! " said Uncle Oscar. "Don't you
stop till you get there. What's the horse's name?"
"He doesn't have
a name," said the boy.
"Gets on without
all right?" asked the uncle.
"Well, he has
different names. He was called Sansovino last week."
"Sansovino,
eh? Won the Ascot. How did you know his name?"
"He always talks
about horse-races with Bassett," said Joan.
The uncle was delighted
to find that his small nephew was posted with all the racing news.
Bassett, the young gardener, who had been wounded in the left foot in the war
and got his present job through Oscar Cresswell, whose batman he had been, was
a perfect blade of the "turf." He lived in the racing events,
and the small boy lived with him.
Oscar Cresswell got it
all from Bassett.
"Master Paul
comes and asks me, so I can't do more than tell him, sir," said Bassett,
his face terribly serious, as if he were speaking of religious matters.
"And does he ever
put anything on a horse he fancies?"
"Well --- I don't
want to give him away --- he's a young sport, a fine sport, sir. Would
you mind asking him himself? He sort of takes a pleasure in it, and perhaps
he'd feel I was giving him away, sir, if you don't mind."
Bassett was serious as
a church.
The uncle went back to
his nephew, and took him off for a ride in the car.
"Say, Paul, old
man, do you ever put anything on a horse?" the uncle asked.
The boy watched the
handsome man closely.
"Why, do you
think I oughtn't to?" he parried.
"Not a bit of
it ! I thought perhaps you might give me a tip for the
Lincoln."
The car sped on into
the country, going down to Uncle Oscar's place in Hampshire.
"Honour
bright?" said the nephew.
"Honour bright,
son ! " said the uncle.
"Well, then,
Daffodil."
"Daffodil !
I doubt it, sonny. What about Mirza?"
"I only know the
winner," said the boy. "That's Daffodil."
"Daffodil,
eh?"
There was a
pause. Daffodil was an obscure horse comparatively.
"Uncle ! "
"Yes, son?"
"You won't let it
go any further, will you? I promised Basset."
"Bassett be
damned, old man ! What's he got to do with it?"
"We're
partners. We've been partners from the first, Uncle, he lent me my first
five shillings, which I lost. I promised him, honour bright, it was only
between me and him; only you gave me that ten-shilling note I started winning
with, so I thought you were lucky. You won't let it go any further, will
you?"
The boy gazed at his
uncle from those big, hot, blue eyes, set rather close together. The
uncle stirred and laughed uneasily.
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"Right you are,
son ! I'll keep your tip private. Daffodil,
eh? How much are you putting on him?"
"All except
twenty pounds," said the boy. "I keep that in reserve."
The uncle thought it a
good joke.
"You keep twenty
pounds in reserve, do you, you young romancer? What are you betting,
then?"
"I'm betting
three hundred," said the boy gravely. "But it's between you and
me, Uncle Oscar ! Honour bright?"
The uncle burst into a
roar of laughter.
"It's between you
and me all right, you young Nat Gould," he said, laughing. "But
where's your three hundred?"
"Bassett keeps it
for me. We're partners."
"You are, are
you ! And what is Bassett putting on Daffodil?"
"He won't go
quite as high as I do, I expect. Perhaps he'll go a hundred and
fifty."
"What,
pennies?" laughed the uncle.
"Pounds,"
said the child, with a surprised look at his uncle. "Bassett keeps a
bigger reserve than I do."
Between wonder and amusement
Uncle Oscar was silent. He pursued the matter no further, but he
determined to take his nephew with him to the Lincoln races.
"Now,
son," he said, "I'm putting twenty on Mirza, and I'll put five
for you on any horse you fancy. "What's your pick?
"Daffodil,
uncle."
"No, not the
fiver on Daffodil ! "
"I should if it
was my own fiver," said the child.
"Good !
Good ! Right you are ! A fiver for me and a
fiver for you on Daffodil."
The child had never
been to a race-meeting before, and his eyes were blue fire. He pursed his
mouth tight, and watched. A Frenchman just in front had put his money on
Lancelot. Wild with excitement, he flayed his arms up and down, yelling
"Lancelot ! Lancelot ! " in his French
accent.
Daffodil came in
first, Lancelot second, Mirza third.
The child, flushed and
with eyes blazing, was curiously serene. His uncle brought him four
five-pound notes, four to one.
"What am I do
with these?" he cried, waving them before the boy's eyes.
"I suppose we'll
talk to Bassett," said the boy. "I expect I have fifteen
hundred now; and twenty in reserve; and this twenty."
His uncle studied him
for some moments.
"Look here,
son ! " he said. "You're not
serious about Bassett and that fifteen hundred, are you?"
"Yes, I am.
But it's between you and me, uncle. Honour bright ! "
"Honour bright
all right, son ! But I must talk to Bassett."
"If you'd like to
be a partner, uncle, with Bassett and me, we could all be partners. Only,
you'd have to promise, honour bright, uncle, not to let it go beyond us three.
Bassett and I are lucky, and you must be lucky, because it was your ten
shillings I started winning with . . ."
Uncle Oscar took both
Bassett and Paul into Richmond Park for an afternoon, and there they talked.
"It's like this,
you see, sir, "Master Paul would get me talking about racing events,
spinning yarns, you know, sir. And he was always keen on knowing if I'd made or
if I'd lost. It's about a year since, now, that I put five shilling on
Blush of Dawn for him --- and we lost. Then the luck turned, with that
ten shillings he had from you, that we put on Singhalese. And since that time,
it's been pretty steady, all things considering. What do you say, Master
Paul?"
"We're all right
when we're sure," said Paul. "It's when we're not quite so sure
that we go down."
"Oh, but we're
careful then," said Bassett.
"But when are
you sure?" smiled Uncle Oscar.
"It's Master
Paul, sir," said Bassett in a secret, religious voice.
"It's as if he had it from heaven. Like Daffodil, now, for the
Lincoln. That was as sure as eggs."
"Did you put
anything on Daffodil?" asked Oscar Cresswell.
"Yes, sir.
I made my bit."
"And my
nephew?"
Bassett was
obstinately silent, looking at Paul.
"I made twelve
hundred, didn't I, Basset? I told uncle I was putting three hundred on
Daffodil."
"That's
right," said Bassett, nodding.
"But where's the
money?" asked the uncle.
"I keep it safe
locked up, sir. Master Paul he can have it any minute he likes to ask for
it."
"What, fifteen
hundred pounds?"
"And twenty !
And forty, that is, with the twenty he made on the course."
"It's
amazing ! " said the uncle.
"If Master Paul
offers you to be partners, sir, I would, if I were you; if you'll excuse
me," said Bassett.
Oscar Cresswell
thought about it.
"I'll see the
money," he said.
They drove home again,
and sure enough, Bassett came round to the garden-house with fifteen hundred
pounds in notes. The twenty pounds reserve was left with Joe Glee, in the Turf
Commission deposit.
"You see, it's
all right, uncle, when I'm sure ! Then we go
strong, for all we're worth. Don't we Bassett?"
"We do that,
Master Paul."
"And when are you
sure?" said the uncle, laughing.
"Oh, well,
sometimes I'm absolutely sure, like about Daffodil, said the
boy; "and sometimes I have an idea; and sometime I haven't even an idea,
have I, Basset? Then we're careful, because we mostly go down."
"You do, do
you ! And when you're sure, like about Daffodil, what
makes you sure, sonny?"
"Oh, well, I
don't know," said the boy uneasily. "I'm sure, you know, uncle;
that's all."
"It's as if he
had it from heaven, sir," Bassett reiterated.
"I should say
so ! " said his uncle.
But he became a
partner. And when the Leger was coming on, Paul was "sure"
about Lively Spark, which was a quite inconsiderable horse. The boy
insisted on putting a thousand on the horse, Bassett went for five hundred, and
Oscar Cresswell two hundred. Lively Spark came in first, and the betting
had been ten to one against him, Paul had made ten thousand.
"You see," he
said, "I was absolutely sure of him."
Even Oscar Cresswell
had cleared two thousand.
"Look here,
son," he said, "this sort of thing makes me nervous."
"It needn't,
uncle ! Perhaps I shan't be sure again for a long
time."
"But what are you
going to do with your money?" asked the uncle.
"Of course,"
said the boy, "I started it for mother. She said she had no
luck, because father is unlucky, so I thought if I was lucky,
it might stop whispering."
"What might stop
whispering?"
"Our house.
I hate our house for whispering."
"What does it
whisper?"
"Why ---
why" --- the boy fidgeted --- "why, I don't know. But it's
always short of money, you know, uncle."
"I know it son, I
know it."
"You know people
send mother writs, don't you, uncle?"
"I'm afraid I
do," said the uncle.
"And then the
house whispers, like people laughing at you behind your back. It's awful,
that is ! I thought if I was lucky . . ."
"You might stop
it," added the uncle.
The boy watched him
with big blue eyes, that had an uncanny cold fire in them, and he said never a
word.
"Well, then ! "
said the uncle. "What are we doing?"
"I shouldn't like
mother to know I was lucky, said the boy.
"Why not,
son?"
"She'd stop
me."
"I don't think
she would."
"Oh ! "
--- and the boy writhed in and odd way --- "I don't want
her to know, uncle."
"All right,
son ! We'll manage it without her knowing."
They managed it very
easily. Paul, at the other's suggestion, handed over five thousand pounds to
his uncle, who deposited it with the family lawyer, who was then to inform
Paul's mother that a relative had put five thousand pounds into his hands,
which sum was to be paid out a thousand pounds at a time, on the mother's
birthday, for the next five years.
"So she'll have a
birthday present of a thousand pounds for five successive years," said
Uncle Oscar. "I hope it won't make it all the harder for her
later."
Paul's mother had her
birthday in November. "The house had been "whispering"
worse that ever lately, and, even in spite of his luck, Paul could not bear up
against it. He was very anxious to see the effect of the birthday letter,
telling his mother about the thousand pounds.
When there were no
visitors, Paul now took his meals with his parents, as he was beyond the
nursery control. His mother went into town nearly every day. She had
discovered that she had an odd knack of sketching furs and dress materials, so
she worked secretly in the studio of a friend who was the chief
"artist" for the leading drapers. She drew the figures of ladies
in furs and ladies in silk and sequins for the newspaper advertisements. This
young woman artist earned several thousand pounds a year, but Paul's mother
only made several hundred, and she was again dissatisfied. She so wanted
to be first in something, and she did not succeed, even in making sketches for
drapery advertisements.
She was down to
breakfast on the morning of her birthday. Paul watched her face as she
read her letters. He knew the lawyer's letter. As his mother read
it, her face hardened and became more expressionless. Then a cold, determined
look came on her mouth. She hid the letter under the pile of others, and
said not a word about it.
"Didn't you have
anything nice in the post for your birthday, mother?" said Paul.
"Quite moderately
nice," she said, her voice cold and absent.
She went away to town
without saying more. But in the afternoon Uncle Oscar appeared. He
said Paul's mother had had a long interview with the lawyer, asking if the
whole five thousand could not be advanced at once, as she was in debt.
"What do you
think, uncle?" said the boy.
"I leave it to
you, son."
"Oh, let her have
it, then ! We can get some more with the
other," said the boy.
"A bird in the
hand is worth two in the bush, laddie ! " said Uncle
Oscar.
"But I'm sure
to know for the Grand National; or the Lincolnshire; or else
the Derby. I'm sure to know for one of them," said
Paul.
So Uncle Oscar signed
the agreement, and Paul's mother touched the whole five thousand. Then
something very curious happened. The voices in the house suddenly went mad,
like a chorus of frogs on a spring evening. There were certain new furnishings,
and Paul had a tutor. He was really going to Eton, his
father's school, in the following autumn. There were flowers in the winter, and
a blossoming of the luxury Paul's mother had been used to. And yet the voices
in the house, behind the sprays of mimosa and almond blossom, and from under
the piles of iridescent cushions, simply trilled and screamed in a sort of
ecstasy: "There must be more money ! Oh-h-h;
there must be more money. Oh, now, now-w !
Now-w-w --- there must be more money ! ---
more than ever ! More than ever ! "
It frightened Paul
terribly. He studied away at his Latin and Greek with his tutors.
But his intense hours were spent with Bassett. The Grand National had gone by:
he had not "known," and had lost a hundred pounds. Summer was
at hand. He was in agony for the Lincoln. But even for the Lincoln
he didn't "know," and he lost fifty pounds. He became wild-eyed and
strange, as if something were going to explode in him.
"Let it alone,
son ! Don't you bother about it ! "
urged Uncle Oscar. But it was as if the boy couldn't really hear what his
uncle was saying.
"I've got to know
for the Derby ! I've got to know for the Derby ! "
the child reiterated, his big blue eyes blazing with a sort of madness.
His mother noticed how
overwrought he was.
"You'd better go
the seaside. Wouldn't you like to go now to the seaside, instead of
waiting? I think you'd better," she said, looking down at him
anxiously, her heart curiously heavy because of him.
But the child lifted
his uncanny blue eyes.
"I couldn't
possibly go before the Derby, mother ! " he said. "I
couldn't possibly ! "
"Why not?"
she said, her voice becoming heavy when she was opposed. "Why not?
You can still go from the seaside to see the Derby with your Uncle Oscar, if
that's what you wish. No need for you to wait here. Besides, I
think you care too much about these races. It's a bad sign. My family
has been a gambling family, and you won't know till you grow up how much damage
it has done. But it has done damage. I shall have to send Bassett
away, and ask Uncle Oscar not to talk racing to you unless you promise to be
reasonable about it; go away to the seaside and forget it. You're all
nerves ! "
"I'll do what you
like, mother, so long as you don't send me away till after the
Derby," the boy said.
"Send you away
from where? Just from this house?"
"Yes," he
said gazing at her.
"Why, you curious
child, what makes you care about this house so much, suddenly? I never
knew you loved it."
He gazed at her
without speaking. He had a secret within a secret, something he had not
divulged, even to Bassett or to his Uncle Oscar.
But his mother, after
standing undecided and a little bit sullen for some moments, said:
"Very well,
then ! Don't go to the seaside till after the Derby, if
you don't wish it. But promise me you won't let your nerves go to pieces.
Promise you won't think so much about horse-racing andevents, as you
call them ! "
"Oh, no,"
said the boy casually. "I won't think much about them, mother.
You needn't worry. I wouldn't worry, mother, if I were you."
"If you were me
and I were you," said his mother, "I wonder what we should do ! "
"But you know you
needn't worry, mother, don't you?" the boy repeated.
"I should be
awfully glad to know it," she said wearily.
"Oh, well,
you can, you know. I mean, you ought to
know you needn't worry," he insisted.
"Ought I? Then
I'll see about it," she said.
Paul's secret of secrets
was his wooden horse, that which had no name. Since he was emancipated
from a nurse and a nursery-governess, he had had his rocking-horse removed to
his own bedroom at the top of the house.
"Surely, you're
too big for a rocking-horse !" his mother had
remonstrated.
"Well, you see,
mother, till I can have a real horse, I like to have some sort
of animal about." Had been his quaint answer.
"Do you feel he
keeps you company?" she laughed.
"Oh, yes !
He's very good, he always keeps me company, when I'm there," said Paul.
So the horse, rather
shabby, stood in an arrested prance in the boy's bedroom.
The Derby was drawing
near, and the boy grew more and more tense. He hardly heard what was
spoken to him, he was very frail, and his eyes were really uncanny. His
mother had sudden strange seizures of uneasiness about him. Sometimes, for
half-an-hour, she would feel a sudden anxiety about him that was almost
anquish. She wanted to rush to him at once, and know he was safe.
Two nights before the
Derby, she was at a big party in town, when one of her rushes of anxiety about
her boy, her first-born, gripped her heart till she could hardly speak.
She fought with the feeling, might and main, for she believed in
common-sense. But it was too strong. She had to leave the dance and
go downstairs to telephone to the country. The children's nursery-governess was
terribly surprised and startled at being rung up in the night.
"Are the children
all right, Miss Wilmot?"
"Oh, yes, they
are quite all right."
"Master Paul?
Is he all right?"
"He went to bed
as right as a trivet. Shall I run up and look at him?"
"No," said
Paul's mother reluctantly. "No ! Don't
trouble. It's all right. Don't sit up. We shall be home
fairly soon." She did not want her son's privacy intruded upon.
"Very good,"
said the governess.
It was about one
o'clock when Paul's mother and father drove up to their house. All was
still. Paul's mother went to her room and slipped off her white fur
cloak. She had told her maid not to wait up for her. She heard her
husband downstairs, mixing a whisky-and-soda.
And then, because of
the strange anxiety at her heart, she stole upstairs to her son's room.
Noiselessly she went along the upper corridor. Was there a faint
noise? What was it?
She stood, with
arrested muscles, outside his door, listening. There was a strange,
heavy, and yet not loud noise. Her heart stood still. It was a soundless
noise, yet rushing and powerful. Something huge, in violent, hushed
motion. What was it? What in God's name was it? She ought to
know. She felt that she knew the noise. She knew what it was.
Yet she could not
place it. She couldn't say what it was. And on and on it went, like
a madness.
Softly, frozen with
anxiety and fear, she turned the door-handle.
The room was
dark. Yet in the space near the window, she heard and saw something
plunging to and fro. She gazed in fear and amazement.
Then suddenly she
switched on the light, and saw her son, in his green pyjamas, madly surging on
the rocking-horse. The blaze of light suddenly lit him up, as he urged
the wooden horse, and lit her up, as she stood, blonde, in her dress of pale
green and crystal, in the doorway.
"Paul ! "
she cried. "Whatever are you doing?"
"It's
Malabar ! " he screamed, in a powerful, strange
voice. "It's Malabar ! "
His eyes blazed at her
for one strange and senseless second, as he ceased urging his wooden
horse. Then he fell with a crash to the ground, and she, all her
tormented motherhood flooding upon her, rushed to gather him up.
But he was
unconscious, and unconscious he remained, with some brain-fever. He
talked and tossed, and his mother sat stonily by his side.
"Malabar !
It's Malabar ! Bassett, Bassett, I know !
It's Malabar ! "
So the child cried,
trying to get up and urge the rocking-horse that gave him his inspiration.
"What does he
mean by Malabar?" asked the heart-frozen mother.
"I don't
know," said the father stonily.
"What does he
mean by Malabar?" she asked her brother Oscar.
"It's one of the
horses running for the Derby," was the answer.
And, in spite of
himself, Oscar Cresswell spoke to Basset, and himself put a thousand on
Malabar: at fourteen to one.
The third day of the
illness was critical: they were waiting for a change. The boy, with his
rather long, curly hair, was tossing ceaselessly on the pillow. He
neither slept nor regained consciousness, and his eyes were like blue stones.
His mother sat, feeling her heart had gone, turned actually into a stone.
In the evening, Oscar
Cresswell did not come, but Bassett sent a message, saying could he come up for
one moment, just one moment? Paul's mother was very angry at the
intrusion, but on second thought she agreed. The boy was the same.
Perhaps Bassett might bring him to consciousness.
The gardener, a
shortish fellow with a little brown moustache, and sharp little brown eyes,
tiptoes into the room, touched his imaginary cap to Paul's mother, and stole to
the bedside, staring with glittering, smallish eyes, at the tossing, dying
child.
"Master Paul ! "
he whispered. "Master Paul ! Malabar came in
first all right, a clean win. I did as you told me. You've made over
seventy thousand pounds, you have; you've got over eighty thousand.
Malabar came in all right, Master Paul."
"Malabar !
Malabar ! Did I say Malabar, mother? Did I say
Malabar? Do you think I'm lucky, mother? I knew Malabar,
didn't I? Over eighty thousand pounds ! I
call that lucky, don't you, mother? Over eighty thousand pounds ! I
knew, didn't I know I knew? Malabar came in all right. If I ride my
horse till I'm sure, then I tell you, Bassett, you can go as high as you
like. Did you go for all you were worth, Bassett?"
I went a thousand on
it, Master Paul."
"I never told
you, mother, that if I can ride my horse, and get there, then I'm
absolutely sure --- oh, absolutely ! Mother, did I ever tell
you? I am lucky ! "
"No, you never
did," said the mother.
But the boy died in
the night.
And even as he lay
dead, his mother heard her brother's voice saying to her:
"My
God, Hester, you're eighty-thousand to the good, and a poor devil of a son to
the bad. But, poor devil, poor devil, he's best gone out of a life where
he rides his rocking-horse to find a winner.
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